


just to find him

by getadoge



Series: Songfics [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, people die but it isn't super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 18:02:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11834091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getadoge/pseuds/getadoge
Summary: Dan Howell knows he had a soulmate out there but also knows there’s 7 billion people on this planet. What’s the likelihood he shares a country or even a language with this stranger? Well, sometimes work and love take you mysterious places.





	just to find him

Youtube extraordinaire, radio DJ, and romantic with very little hope. That’s how Dan might describe himself. He knew not everyone was granted a lot time with their soulmate or met them at all but the thoughts of it still weighed heavy on his mind. You wouldn’t know anything about your soulmate until or if you met them and after that, the end was eminent. On your wrist, a timer would begin to count down until the two of you would be driven apart. As much as he wanted a soul mate, endings always terrified him. This inevitable ending didn’t have to be death and was often a symbol of people no longer being compatible but nevertheless it was scary that the one person near perfect for you would not always be by your side. People found love afterwards but it hung in everyone’s mind. Every time the timer got close to the end, couples would scramble to find a way to fix things. If there was no trouble in the relationship, they might take time to be together and be in love while both were still breathing. Little was a surprise in this world.

As you may guess, jobs like Dan’s require lots of travel. That is what gave him his little bit of hope. From Germany to Australia to America Dan would attempt socialization poorly (usually ending in a good anecdote to share with the internet). He knew anyone could be just right for him, a person made independent to him that would complement his pleasant quirks and imperfections. Still, he found himself scared.

Planes. That’s another scary thing Dan hated to think about. A giant metal aviary miracle up in the air with no real assurance it wouldn’t come crashing down with little notice (he didn't know how these things worked, he wasn't a pilot!). The dark was also something he’d admit his fear to. Planes and the dark. Unfortunately for him, his flight to LA was taking off across the ocean in the dark. Stressful flying experience to say the least. He slept until they were about halfway through the flight and spent the rest of the 12 hour flight he spent desperately attempting to entertain himself.

Now that he was in LA, he had business to attend to. The radio personality and youtuber didn’t think he looked very presentable but he had a chance to go to his hotel and shower before meeting Phil Lester for his first order of business: an interview. Phil Lester was a famous director, winning an oscar at 30. To be so young and talented astonished many, including Dan. He was handsome, four years Dan’s senior, and incredibly good at what he did. To be terribly honest, Dan was starting to freak out a bit about the interview when his uber pulled up. He hopped in the car, letting it take him to his next location.

Shower, fresh clothes, hair straightened (soon to be curly once more thanks to California humidity) and Dan was on his way.

\--

Phil Lester was admittedly more handsome in person. Nearly matching Dan’s height, the man was ever present but still incredibly kind. It showed in the way his facial expressions fell soft on his handsome face. He reached a hand out to shake Dan’s.

“Hello!”

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Lester. Thanks for agreeing to this interview.” Dan's hand extended shake Phil’s

“You as well! Please, call me Phil. Thanks for meeting me all the way out here. England is my home but--” Phil jumped back a bit as their hands pulled away. He tugged at his sleeve to reveal just what he thought he had seen, a timer counting down. On his arm he had “9968 days” printed neatly. He breathed out a nervous sigh of relief.

Dan started laughing. “Oh my god I—” he can't quite gets the words out. He ran his fingers over his smooth skin and read the numbers over and over again. “26 years… I'd say we're lucky.” He grinned

“We got this on camera. I'd say that makes us even luckier.” Phil retorted. 

“I've got my whole life on camera.” Dan laughed nervously “Should we continue…?”

“No, I'd much rather take you to dinner.”

Dan smiled larger than he thought possible. He stared for a moment, taking in Phil’s lively eyes and his ghostly yet flattering complexion. He couldn't have been more right when he said they were lucky. He wouldn't choose anyone else to be his soulmate. He just hoped Phil felt the same. 

\--

 

After they grabbed dinner, they walked around little Tokyo. The humidity was starting to destroy Dan’s straight hair and it began its descent back to curls. Phil put an arm around his newly found boyfriend. That's when it occurred to Dan that he left immediately after vidcon, his other reason to come to LA. 

“Shit I have a lot of work these next few days before I leave. You could come to vidcon with me but I know you have your own life and—”

“Count me in.”

“Yeah it's okay—” Dan started, expecting another answer “Wait what?”

“We just wrapped up filming early this month. I have some meetings but nothing I can't call off.”

“Phil you don't have to.” Dan pleaded, feeling guilty about making Phil take time away from his work. 

“I want to.”

‘In a movie,’ Dan thinks ‘this is where we’d kiss’. But he much prefers this moment. Phil is grasping both of his hands. They're standing in the middle of the sidewalk facing each other with the occasional pedestrian going around them. Phil only smiles and it must be contagious because Dan smiles back. 

“I suppose 26 years has to start somewhere.” Phil whispers as he plants a kiss on Dan’s forehead. The moment couldn't be more perfect in his eyes.

\--

Sometimes they just quietly lay in bed late at night in their flat back in London. Dan’s not a radio DJ anymore but instead travels with Phil when he has to go away for work. He still does youtube but also keeps Phil from stressing himself out to much and when filming takes them to New Zealand, they celebrate their three year anniversary. They lay in bed as midnight comes and watch the script on their wrists slowly change from 8,507 to 8,506. Sometimes three years feels like no time at all and sometimes it feels like they're known each other their whole lives. Either way, 22 years don't seem like enough. That's the night Dan decides he wants to marry Phil, something Phil decided when the first time he woke up in their new flat with Dan pressed up against his pillow in an unflattering yet entirely beautiful way.

It's not like Phil instantly bought a ring after that moment because he knew they had time but he also knew that when Dan was ready, he wanted to build a truly wonderful life with him. That thought was enough.

\--

Their wedding wasn't big. The ceremony was immediate family and a couple of close friends only, totaling a little of 10 people. The reception was a bit bigger but took place a day later. Being married was a strange feeling to them because nothing feels different. Marrying made their lives officially tied together and made building a future so much easier. It also gave them time to reflect on what they had and realize how lucky they were to be marrying their soulmate. It was nice but it didn't feel like a big deal. It felt second nature. That night they'd still go home and sleep. They'd wake up together, make coffee and watch an episode of whatever series they were watching. They'd get some work done then eat dinner together and play Mario kart or watch a movie. Marriage just put a ring on one of those fingers Dan would angrily grab his remote control with. 

The thing that had them really excited at the time was their puppy waiting at home for them and the adoption papers they were to fill out sitting on the counter.

\--

All they hope for their child’s soulmate is that they get all the time in the world together. Alex is 17 and both men have a strong feeling it's coming soon. When Alex comes home sporting a bolder countdown on their wrist it's no surprise. The part that pains the two fathers is to see Alex and their soulmate are given 3 years. It's better than a day or a week, but they know Alex is disappointed. They watched as their fathers stared at the numbers counting down and thought these 22 years haven't been enough. How could 3 ever compare?

They did just fine. Alex was happier than ever and their soulmate Aaron was wonderful. He was more than they could ever hope for and their relationship was strong. That only worried them. Aaron went missing one day, the day the numbers turned to zero. Alex knew what had happened but they knew they had to try out love again. Even if it wasn't quite the same, they could be happy. You can do just fine without a soulmate, it's just the losing of one that really hurts.

\--

Time is short for all of us. As the days on their wrist shrink below a year, their fates become apparent. Phil’s health had been declining. He always took care of himself but sometimes genetics just make things unfavorable. He'd had lymphoma when he was 21, about the age of their only child Alex. It never came back but treatment does have its side effects. As a result, he suffered from a weaken immune system but he always lived with that. Things became a problem when he had a stroke. The first time was minor, a foggy memory at times but then came January. Neither of the men worked after that. Dan insisted on spending what time he could with his deteriorating husband and Phil knew he wasn't in the best shape. If he hadn't had the days counting down on his wrist, he might have assumed things would work out. They wouldn't. 

It was June when Phil died. They knew it was going to happen. Yet another stroke while Dan sat beside his husband. They'd spent the day before in bed waiting, crying, and laughing. They spent the past 26 years being together every moment they could. They raised a child who made them proud with their ambitions and success. They traveled and they fought and they believed in each other more than anyone else. It was okay because Dan would try his best to enjoy his last years without Phil. He died December 6 years later after getting to see his first grandchild. He was younger than he should have hoped but sometimes your health sneaks away from you.

He never let himself get too sad in those years he spent alone. Phil wouldn't have wanted that and Dan had to believe he'd see his husband again. After all, they were soulmates and 26 years would never be enough. If he had the chance to do it again, he'd search the whole world just to find him.


End file.
